; piss.irc port ; camo@efnet ; original written by killspree ;on 1:start:editbox /server efnet.rcn.com on *:load: { psecho PiSS.mRC loaded type /pisshelp } alias piss { say $rpiss } alias ep { echo $rpiss } alias pisstopic { topic $active $rpiss } alias pissmsg { msg $1 $rpiss } alias pissnotice { notice $1 $rpiss } alias pisskick { kick $1 $2 $rpiss } alias pickup { say $rpick } alias pickmsg { msg $1 $rpick } alias psecho { echo -a [PiSS] $1- } alias pisshelp { psecho .-----------------------------------------------------------------. psecho $chr(124) /piss - a randomly selected statement to surly piss off anyone psecho $chr(124) /pisstopic - piss on the topic psecho $chr(124) /pissmsg - piss a message to psecho $chr(124) /pissnotice - piss a notice to psecho $chr(124) /pisskick - kick with a friendly message psecho $chr(124) /pisshelp - Need help how to piss? psecho $chr(124) /pickup $chr(124) /pickmsg  - Killer pickup lines! Be a stud! psecho `-----------------------------------------------------------------' } alias rpiss { goto $r(1,300) :1 | return Hi everyone.. I was wondering if it's normal to have hair on your butt, near the rectum? :2 | return Wow I just grew a hair in my balls Cool I'm a man :3 | return Hi.. I was just wondering why my penis got very hard when I saw this naked guy.. :4 | return I have windshield wipers on my monitor so I can wipe off my jizz after I see a naked man :5 | return Can someone please tell me if it's normal to have an ackward smell between your scrotum and inner thigh? :6 | return ahh I just dropped bubble gum on my pubic hairs ouch :7 | return my penis got infected and white sacks of puss are growing on it :8 | return i like to shit diarrhea in a cup and drink it - it's good :9 | return WHEW WHEW I just RIPPED this BIG fart and my DAD lit a cigarette and his WHOLE ROOM BLEW UP IT WAS SO COOL :10 | return When I am alone I like to fondle my balls :11 | return i took a pair of surgeon scissors and chopped off my penis .. itfelt good :12 | return Will someone tell me how I could fit my penis in a girl's vagina? It doesn't look like it would fit :13 | return I stuck my penis in a coke bottle one time and it got stuck there :14 | return What's an erection? :15 | return Can someone tell me what ejaculation means? :16 | return Someone tell me why my mom gets in a bad mood when she urinates blood :17 | return i like taking off my pants in front of people and wacking mypenis .. msg me 2 chat :18 | return i chopped off the head of my penis and used it as a slammer to play pogs :19 | return i'll farm the mushrooms from your mom's vagina and feet and sellthem as portabellas :20 | return one time my mom walked in when i had a wetdream and i squirt in her face :21 | return i like to pop my zits and lick the pus it tastes good :22 | return jizzing is cool when u do it on the toilet :23 | return I'm a Windows hacker. The only problem is I get a General Protection Fault error, or a crash when I get root :24 | return Why is an erection called a boner? Is there a bone that pops out? :25 | return Is there a place where they bottle women's titty milk? :26 | return i have mold on my scrotum so i scraped it off and my balls fell out :27 | return Why does my scrotum itch so much? :28 | return i cut off both of my nipples and ate them :29 | return If someone put a hole in your scrotum.. would your testes fall out like marbles? :30 | return I made doctors replace my thumb with my penis so I could suck it easier :31 | return Why did my penis shoot out milk when I was sleeping last night? :32 | return Can someone tell me if it is possible to stick a needle through the urethra? :33 | return white sacks of pus taste sooooo goooooood mmm mmm :34 | return ne1 have a fetish for farting? msg me :35 | return Argh! I just farted and I got high off the smell!!! :36 | return One time I masturbated so hard that I poked a hole thru my hand :37 | return take a spoon and just scoop out your poop if ur constipated :38 | return Is it normal for my scrotum and penis to be sweating so much?! :39 | return ok reality check? who forgot to remove the decaying cow penis from my yeasty vagina? :40 | return Cool.. i just got promoted head of #gaysex.. rad :41 | return I like to adopt little boys and raise them as sexual slaves :42 | return i want someone to massage my rectum with their tongue :43 | return i took a needle and sucked up all my pus and then i injected it into my penis while it was erect :44 | return will someone please release the grip of the fishhook from my rectum? :45 | return i have an inflamation so bad in my ass that i squirt out blood :46 | return Does a blowjob mean someone who blows on someone? How much do they get paid? :47 | return big hard pulsating penis and wet juicy plump vaginas :48 | return i need an enema. ASAP. :49 | return Hmm.. why do my balls get all sweaty whenever I see a man in a bathing suit? :50 | return I like to fuck little kids!!!! :51 | return i like to see naked men because their balls taste goooooooood - btw im a guy!! :52 | return i like to rub shit all over my face .. it feels sooo good :53 | return One time I pissed on my neighbor's yard, and their dog came out and bit me in my penis. :54 | return I like it when boys fondle with my penis :55 | return I like it when boys fondle with my balls :56 | return If you cut off your penis, would it squiggle on the floor for a minute? Like a fish? :57 | return Why are hot dog's called wieners? Is a hot dog actually a cooked penis? :58 | return I like to see 60 year old men's big beautiful balls.. i just wanna lick um! :59 | return One time I was sucking on a 80 year old lady's nipple, and I sucked her entire breast off.. it was sick :60 | return i feel that its important to tell little kids about sex.. thats why i capture them and force them to blow me - why dont i ever win any awards for that? :61 | return I once pissed on a 90 year old woman... it got into her oxygen mask and she drowned :62 | return Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs are my cup of tea :63 | return There's nothing more sexy than a new born baby! Mmm mm uh uh uh *moan* :64 | return Hi! I'm into baby porn! New borns pics requested! :65 | return The only reason I became a doctor is so I could see naked baby girls :66 | return i once had sex with an 84 year old lady and her cunt flaked off :67 | return One time I hung myself upside-down... from my testicles! It was funny because they popped out of my sack!! :68 | return One time I cut off my testes during class and threw them at my teacher! :69 | return I once stuck a hot dog in my vagina and when I pulled it out, the hot dog tore in half and it got stuck *frown* :70 | return I once waited for my dick to get erect and i cut it off, and used it as a throwing knife :71 | return I like to shampoo my hair in a jizz, shit, and piss mixture :72 | return I need someone to grind my dick with your teeth.. NOW!!! :73 | return How can someone eat a vagina? :74 | return Some girl asked me if she wanted her to give me head. I said "no thanks, I already have one!" haha silly girl! :75 | return There's nothing more sexy than when a dog sniffs my penis area! :76 | return i once hacked playboy.com and to fuck up the page, i put pornography and bad words all over the page!! the people who went there must have been soooooooo embarrased!! LOL!! I RULE!!! :77 | return i am against teletubbies becaus eone of them is a gay thing :78 | return my daddy must be a mormon, he fucks around a lot :79 | return I want to punish my penis with a hammer so bad right now :80 | return Is the milk that comes out of your penis the same that comes out of a cows utter? :81 | return Oh my god!! My mom is urinating blood again!!!! :82 | return I like to go to the boy's shower rooms and look at them naked! :83 | return someone please spank me with a stapler :84 | return i like to put staples into my penis it's fun :85 | return I like to tie my dick in a knot :86 | return Is there a way to make my scrotum not so itchy?! :87 | return Have you ever put Icy Hot on your scrotum? It hurts *frown* :88 | return Is cock fighting some sort of fetish? :89 | return Is a rooster also called a penis, since it's called a cock? :90 | return Is the milk that comes out of your penis called semen? :91 | return someone rape my ass with a blowtorch :92 | return My pastor says that God told him to put his thingy in my arse :93 | return I think I broke my boner! :94 | return I had a zit on my penis and i popped it it felt so good :95 | return One time I saw this girl that I liked.. so I took her hand and I made her massage my penis. :96 | return I use Jizz Shampoo .. it makes my head tingle :97 | return I like to put Ben Gay on my buttocks :98 | return i took a needle and sucked out my balls after i injected it into my scrotum :99 | return I once pissed on a barbed wire fence and the entire field caught on fire! :100 | return I've been on Jerry Springer for just about every sexual reason :101 | return i took my dandruff and made a cereal out of it!! :102 | return One time I took my testicles and i swung em around so fast i started to fly! :103 | return Do Pamela Anderson's breasts melt under the sun? :104 | return I like to stick my arm up my ass so far that it comes out of my mouth! :105 | return I like to jizz in a cup, mix it with chocolate, and give it to my friends!! :106 | return How can a girl give head? Is there a hidden head in their vaginas? :107 | return Why is there hair near my genitelia?! :108 | return I am a fetus! Abort me! Abort me! :109 | return I like to fuck fetuses.. mmm nice, purple, and steaming! :110 | return I like not to shower so I can eat the lint between my scrotum and inner thigh! :111 | return I made doctorthz replath my tongue wif my penith. YUMMY!! :112 | return I like to go to nursing homes and rape 90 year old ladies :113 | return they put my urethra in the tip of my finger. you'd be surprised how useful that is :114 | return hi i have absolutely -no- pubic hair :115 | return can i please borrow your penis? :116 | return i wish i could make a cologne out of the smell from my penis area :117 | return This is STRANGE. Some girl had tunas in her vagina. When she opened her legs I could smell em! :118 | return someone please sodomize me with a broomstick :119 | return Anyone have amateur gay porn!?!?! :120 | return i wish i was the center of attention in a gay circle jerk :121 | return Shut up, you Neo-Nazi Machine Gun baby killer. :122 | return i saw a crusting, yeast-filled, negro vagina and i got horny :123 | return Why do I sometimes piss white urine?? Only happens when I am in erection mode! :124 | return ERECTION MODE, ACTIVATED! :125 | return EJACTULATION MODE, ACTIVATED! :126 | return MASTURBATION... COMMENCING! :127 | return I like it when guys stick their penis in my eye sockets. :128 | return Who's the fucking idiot who wrote this script!?@! :129 | return i jacked off to the women doin breast cancer checkups on themselves in my sex ed book :130 | return PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! :131 | return VAGINA! VAGINA! VAGINA! :132 | return CLITORIS! CLITORIS! CLITORIS! :133 | return PENIS! VAGINA! CLITORIS! :134 | return Why did my teacher stick his penis in my rectum after class? :135 | return BRB.. I'm fondling my testicles and ejaculating afterwards! :136 | return I named my wiener Zeus. Say hi to Zeus everyone! He's up! :137 | return i like to stick small animals inside my rectum it feels so good :138 | return i found a new way to suck my penis. i cut it off :139 | return My ass has been pummelled so many times, that people can see out of my mouth through it! :140 | return i squeezed my balls so hard they turned to mush. it feels so good :141 | return ?MSG piker OH YES piker!! SWALLOW IT ALL BABY! woops! damn keyboard!! Don't tell anyone that piker and I are having Gay Net Sex! :142 | return I slammed my testicles with a hammer... i don't know why though. :143 | return I really need to be fucked by a horse penis. no doubt about it :144 | return will someone please tell me how to remove the warts from my cock :145 | return Stick your penis in my nose and shoot it all in!!! I'll inhale it!! :146 | return i'm a black man and i'll slap you in da face wit' muh pink twinkie :147 | return Conference up! 1800-245-3423 pin: 945733 DONT GIVE IT OUT!! :148 | return ?MSG piker when are you gonna send me billy12naked.jpg?? oops! please don't tell anyone that piker and me are trading Pre-Teen Gay Pornography! :149 | return My penis is like Prudential! Rock hard! :150 | return Why do people take my penis and chew on it? :151 | return one time i got a blowjob and she bit. i bled for hours. it sucked :152 | return I heard that MayTrickZ went to a restaurant, ate all the food and they ran out of food so they had to close it *frown* :153 | return I am 5,275 lbs, warts all over my face, and scabs in my penis! /msg for netsex! :154 | return someone please fuck me with a duck :155 | return Dr. Seuss should have made porno poems - that would have been wild :156 | return Do you notice that your left nut hangs lower than your right one? :157 | return Don't make me send you a picture of a cancerous testicle! :158 | return I like to stick my finger in my butt until it bleeds :159 | return I'd like to hump you until you bleed to death :160 | return Do all these penis elongators work? I need a penis creator! :161 | return I like to hump pregant women so the fetus can suck my dick while it's in her vagina :162 | return i put my penis in a paper shredder .. it felt good :163 | return i'd like to make my penis into a filet :164 | return I like to cut my penis and sell it to Japanese sushi bars! :165 | return i raped a helpless old lady last night - it felt so good :166 | return i have a cache of little boys that i adopted .. i make them bite each other's penises off :167 | return I like to see naked 90 year olds :168 | return ok it's official i have major hemmhroids :169 | return I stuck a tampon in my anus, and it hasn't come out *frown* :170 | return pubic louse feels so good .. i pull them out and eat them :171 | return I like it when my dog chews on my scrotum :172 | return I like to urinate on my face and drink it :173 | return i like to chew white sacks of infectous juice :174 | return Mmm vaginal infections! I wish I had them all the time!!! :175 | return I make bread from my wife's yeast infections :176 | return drinking used public bathroom toilet water is good for me :177 | return I used to have sex all the time... then I got artheritis *frown* :178 | return I was cutting my pubic hair but i missed and cut my penis :179 | return i love to lick the rims of my toilet .. it taste sooo goood :180 | return if there's one thing that tastes good, it's sugar and jizz :181 | return I like to cut off my nipples and eat them :182 | return if my balls hurt i just smash them with a hammer .. :183 | return i put an earring in my urethra and my piss & jizz comes out of my skin now .. it's fucked up but it's funny :184 | return bacetreal growth is going rampant inbetween my legs.. not good. :185 | return I like to ejactulate in cups, and give it to my friends and say its milk! :186 | return Got milk? No! But I have semen! :187 | return I may not look like much now, but Im drinking semen! :188 | return my penis is so small i popped it off with nail clippers :189 | return Jesus Christ and Caesar had gaysex with each other :190 | return i made a pie out of jizz and shit .. it tastes so good :191 | return someone fuck me with a gerbil :192 | return i love to pull on little boys small penises until they break off :193 | return I like to tell kids that santa claus is a child molester! :194 | return Does Santa Clause hate me because I'm Jewish? :195 | return im bored :196 | return i shit out a 10ft tapeworm last night .. :197 | return I became a gynocologist so I can look at infectous pussies :198 | return I stuck a gerbel in my ass and I keep it there! :199 | return i am a nazi for my balls because i put them on the stove to punish them :200 | return I like to put burning curling irons up my ass it feels soo goood :201 | return i get sexual pleasure out of raping exotic animals :202 | return no, but really folks, i love to suck horse penis. it's sooo good :203 | return horse jizzes with so much force you can hear it.. goes like this: *PUH-JUUUUUUUT* :204 | return shit.. someone call 911 for me.. god.. please.. dildo tip broke off.. :205 | return I like to fuck little kids!!!! :206 | return would someone please eat my genital warts? :207 | return I have mushrooms growing from my penis :208 | return recipe for good soup: jizz, shit chips, piss, and pussy juice :209 | return 16/f/fl msg me 2 chat only if u want 2 tho :210 | return I will whip you with my balls and chain :211 | return Shit. I thought my dick was a zit and I just popped it! FUCK :212 | return I like to make popcorn from the corns that grow on my feet :213 | return i would swear right now but i'm scared because i will violate tos :214 | return I love to have sex with my mom it feels really good :215 | return i ate my mom once her pussy tastes so good im so lucky i came out of her before :216 | return I was in a group orgy with Donnahue, Oprah, Ricky Lake and Sally Jesse Rafael :217 | return i sucked my mom's red juices after her period its so good :218 | return I will crack your head open and pee all over you! :219 | return I will shove my dick in your eyesockets and fill your eyes with the white piss :220 | return I will shove my dick down your throat and fill your tummy with warm semen :221 | return I got arrested for raping my mother :222 | return I got jailed for rapin my gramma :223 | return Cut my penis with some scissors.. please :224 | return i put honey all over my penis and went to #bearcave :225 | return I like to sniff women's vaginal areas. :226 | return I like to eat the bread that comes from women's vaginas :227 | return I like to cook the yeast that comes from women's vaginas. :228 | return Whoa cool conf... No one is toning... who wants on? :229 | return i cut off my penis, put it in a blender, and drank it.. it was good :230 | return maybe you'd like to scrape the yeast from your twat? :231 | return I stuck a gold fish in a girl's vagina once. It was funny. :232 | return there's nothing sexier than an old man in a nurse suit *wink* :233 | return I will slap you in the face with a large penis :234 | return President Clinton raped me .. help :235 | return I had an orgy with Monica Lewinksy, Paula Jones, Ken Starr and President Bill Clinton :236 | return Hi my name is Jamal and I'm white! :237 | return I sure as hell would love to get the zits out of my butt :238 | return I like to fuck nuns :239 | return What do you call a nun with a dick in her mouth? /msg timecop for the answer :240 | return My penis is trying to tell me something.. he's growing :241 | return I saw a guy who had a testicle transplant. They moved his testes where his eyes were, and his eyes were now in his scrotum :242 | return The never ending story. That pretty sums up my life with my itchy scrotum. :243 | return I dipped my balls in a hot chocolate and let my dog lick it off :244 | return I heard that the Yeti has a huge penis. Is this true? :245 | return I always wanted to hump a yeti. :246 | return I tied my dick to a railroad track one time and the train grinded it off - it was so funny :247 | return Shut up penis head, fuck ass, nigger shit, assfuck. :248 | return in chemistry class i dropped HCl on my pants and my penis showed up in front of everyone .. it was funny because people laughed at me :249 | return ok enough with the foreplay .. let's have netsex :250 | return WooooEE! That was one killer fart i just ripped! I'm talkin 100% radioactive :251 | return Just because i like to fuck men doesn't mean i'm gay ok? :252 | return I like to molest little boys :253 | return I like to fence with my penis! :254 | return i took a carrot peeler and peeled off my foreskin :255 | return i stuck a twinkie in my vagina once and it got stuck in there :256 | return i crack me up.. and then i jizz inside my crack :257 | return i put an ice cube up my rectum to cool down my inflamation :258 | return I extended my penis far enough that i could anally rape myself :259 | return HOLY SHIT JENNIFER ANISTON IS IN #ANSI!!! WTF?!?!? :260 | return Who needs guns? I got my faithful dick and a sack full of ammo :261 | return brb.. humpin a log :262 | return my penis is infected because i dont shower :263 | return i bathe my penis in used toilet water :264 | return I like it when I shit, and it doesn't come out! :265 | return after diarrhea, i cleaned my butt w/ toilet paper, and the paper broke through and my finger went in knuckle-deep inside my ass :266 | return SOMEONE PLEASE RAPE MY COLON NOW :267 | return i want to die underneath a fat woman's huge breasts :268 | return Christ.. i just farted and burned a hole thru my chair.. :269 | return k, wh s th f nny g y wh st l ll my v w ls? :270 | return I like to practice sexual positions with my pet monkey. No, not THAT monkey. :271 | return i took a ginzu knife and i cut my sack and opened it up :272 | return i need someone to do acupuncture in my penis :273 | return i like to suck used tampons :274 | return OJ SIMPSON IS INNOCENT AND BILL CLINTON DID NOT LIE AND GEORGE BUSH IS NOT A RACIST AND/OR KKK GRAND WIZARD :275 | return i wish i could put a rectum on my forehead :276 | return i started smoking because of joe camel :277 | return my oily, acne filled face needs you to lick it clean :278 | return HEY HEY.. I'm GEY :279 | return the navy is just a bunch of anal sexing boat-boys. that's why i'm going to join!! :280 | return i put my penis in the vacuum cleaner and my dick got sucked off :281 | return i like to chew sacks of pus instead of bubble gum :282 | return IAFAYAOAUADAEACARAYAPATATAHAIASAYAOAUAAARAEAGAAAYA :283 | return fuck, the mushroom on my toe just exploded :284 | return I like to go to the YMCA to see old men take showers while naked :285 | return god i want to fuck an old man so bad right now :286 | return ?/dcc get GayPornBot !!10justin.jpg :287 | return I went poopoo in my pants *frown* :288 | return my mom walked in when i masturbated one time so i said i'd let her clean up the mess if she didn't tell dad.. she grounded me :289 | return my priest told me that he'd show me the way to heaven if i took off my pants for him :290 | return yeah, i'm into self-torture. that's why i masturbate with icy hot :291 | return i put trips in this pilot's sandwich one time.. it was so funny.. even though the plane crashed and all 264 people died, i would have loved to see his face when he realized i pulled that prank on him :292 | return I took pictures of my gramma naked. :293 | return ok ... think of your grandmother right now.... the one on your mother's side .. now ... think of her naked on the table wanting you to lick her baggy old cunt :294 | return my gramma gives, downright, the best oral sex in the whole world :295 | return I like to sit on tables.. only when they're upside down. :296 | return if u got herpes we might as well fuck.. i got it too :297 | return CHRIST! MY BONER AINT GOIN DOWN! HELP ME!!!! :298 | return i have a wart right on my scrotum. it's not too attractive. :299 | return hrm. Scabs in my penis. Not good. Not good at all.. :300 | return What I need is for someone to clear up the acne in my penis } alias rpick { goto $r(1,50) :1 | return Do you believe in love at first sight?...Or do I have to walk by again? :2 | return Do you sleep on your stomach?...no?....Can I ? :3 | return Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I can easily see myself in your pants. :4 | return Tomorow morning, do you want me to call you or nudge you? :5 | return Your parents must be bakers cuz they sure put out a great set of buns :6 | return Your parents must be theives cuz someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes. :7 | return Do you have a quarter? Cuz I promised I would call my mother as soon as I fell in love. :8 | return Do you have some irish in you? Would you like a little irish in you? :9 | return Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours? :10 | return Would you like to go home for a pizza and a fuck?....*slap*...what? you don't like pizza? :11 | return Your legs must be tired cuz you've been running through my mind all night. :12 | return That shirt is very becomming on you, ofcourse if I were that shirt I would be comming on you too. :13 | return If I told you I liked your body would you hold it against me? :14 | return I heard milk was good for your body, but damn| You must drink gallons at a time :15 | return Hi, my name is Mike. Don't forget, because you'll be screaming it later tonight. :16 | return Excuse me, but could you give me directions? To where? Your heart.. :17 | return Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen? :18 | return Come over here and sit on my lap--we can talk about the first thing that pops up. :19 | return Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be? :20 | return The voices in my head say you should go out with me.... :21 | return Hey, is it hot in here, or is it just you. :22 | return If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together. :23 | return Gesture for person to come over I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the rest of my body. :24 | return If I follow you home, will you keep me? :25 | return Have you ever been licked until tears rolled from your eyes? :26 | return Pardon me, but may I attempt to seduce you? :27 | return I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me? :28 | return Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box that it came in? :29 | return Excuse me, you have some lipstick on your tooth, mind if I lick it off? :30 | return Excuse me, I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way to your heart. :31 | return Hi, are you wearing space underwear? ‘cause your ass is out ofthis world. :32 | return Think of a number between 1 and 10 - You lose - take all your clothes off! :33 | return that outfit looks good on you... but it'll look better on my floor. :34 | return hey babe..the winds blowing how about you? :35 | return so.. how much time out of heaven did you get off for bad behavior? :36 | return Make up yer mind. Decide to walk with me around the lake tonight :37 | return I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand. :38 | return I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me? :39 | return They say love is a many splendor thing. Let's make some and find out. :40 | return I'm sorry if I appear to be shaking, I'm just nervous because I want to kiss you. :41 | return I like every bone in your body, especially mine. :42 | return Pardon me, is this seat taken? :43 | return What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply? :44 | return Hey baby, do fries come with that shake? :45 | return I'm not trying anything. I always put my hands there. :46 | return I'm not trying to pick you up...you're too heavy. :47 | return Your father must be a drug dealer because you sure are dope. :48 | return Nice dress, can I talk you out of it? :49 | return Nice shoes.. let's fuck :50 | return I see you are on irc. I am on irc too. Let's fuck }