8
Prosperity awaits you and so does the IRS.
Soon you will travel to many lands and be eaten by cannibals.
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your pubic hair!
If the foe shits, wear it!
A bird in the hand does it on your wrist. 
HELP ME....I'm trapped in a Chinese fortune cookie factory!!!
The chef spit in your food!
The lump IS cancer.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose...but you can't pick your friend's nose!
