                                                October 2, 1999
        My Angel,
  Hey, hope your doing better. I'm doing alright. Been really busy lately,
looking for a job and all. Went to a place called workNet this saturday.
What they do is job referel and training for interviews and job applications.
It was pretty cool, kinda boring, but informative. I got a list of quite
a few jobs that I can get through this workNet. They have direct link with
the contacts, managers and supervisors of a big list of companies and
marketers. I got refered to quite a few jobs, such as Fry's Electronics,
Mr. Rags, Pizza Hut, Selectron Coprteration, Best Buy, K-Mart. Pretty much
whatever I wanna do, they can try and hook me up with it. So I'm still
looking at what kinda job im going to be getting into. It'll be soon I
hope because staying at home is surely not what I wanna do with my life
anymore. And after a few weeks of the job, my parents are saying they'll
buy me a car. Most the jobs are pretty far away from home, so the first
couple of weeks will be a bitch getting there, with the bus 'n all. But
I'll manage through if they're considering getting me a car. My license
is on the way soon, been driving a lot lately. I enjoy it.
  All my friends are cool, their just kicking it. Some friends having a lot
of drama, and dropping it in on me, witch is ok, because I'm there for them
and all. Just stresses me out sometimes.
  I'm really glad Drew is there for you, to talk to you, and be there for
you, especially since I'm not able to. It's good to have someone to be
able to dump your feelings on. I have a lot of understanding why your having
a bit of trouble talking to me, but I can't know your feelings, and it's
confusing trying to sort what I can out of it all over here in San Jose.
I wish I could be there for you. I almost have a little trouble dealing
with the fact that you can't just talk to me about a lot of whats going on.
But I understand why not, partly. I feel like your having this life going
on over in San Diego, that I'm just not a part of or something. Like, I'm
in the dark or something. I wanna know how your doing, and wanna talk to
you about whats going on in your mind. Because I know that I'de want you
to know what's going on in mine. But I know there's a lot of complicated
feelings and thoughts running through your mind, and that its really hard
to deal with someone, especially me, where a lot more feelings are pulled
out. I pray for you everyday. And for the baby that might be inside you, I
pray that God give us strength to deal with it. I'm now seeing a lot of
paths that I think God has laid on me. Such as a job, driving a car. I
have a lot confidence I can take on a job and support myself and a child.
I know my family would be supportive so I'de pull through if the situation
made its way around in my life.
  I pray that you not let this issue get out of hand in your mind Sara, about
the child. I know it would be hard, but I'm going to work with you on this.
Then again, perhaps your not even pregnant, but I almost believe otherwise.
Anyways, I think I've laid my feelings out enough. Don't wanna implement and
implement to the point of bullshit. I'm just approching a lot of things
in life straight forward lately. It's like, I've lost a lot of myself but
gained more important parts of myself. Ah well, maybe I'll figure more of
that out, but I'm not too worried, I'm happy now-a-days.
  So I'm going to go now, and I want you to know, whenever you want, I'm here.
I know you know that. I just want you to never forget that. I love you
with all my heart Miyo, may God be with you, and us in these trying times.
                            Love
                              Scott

                                                October 5, 1999
   Hey Angel, sorry I haven't sent this sooner, but I haven't had the effort
to convert this to pen\paper, and my computer doesn't have a printer, so it's
been a complicated process to get this file from one computer to the other.
Considering how jacked up this computer is and that it doesn't have a disk
drive that works. But today I've figured out how to get this over to a work
-able printer. Yay! Serious...
   I have much I want to talk to you about, and I don't know where to begin.
You've been the only thing on my mind lately, and I haven't been able to shake
you from it either. I really miss hearing from you, I wish you would email
me more often so I'de know that you are doing okay. I should do the same.
   Yesterday was my brothers birthday. He got a Nintendo 64, and a lot of
attention. I helped him set it all up and we had a lot of fun just playing
video games together. Aside from the fact that he calls me a cheater when
I beat him, we get along. This week I'm going to head over to oakridge mall
and get an application for Mr Rags. I'de really like to work there, it seems
to be the only place where I can just be myself and enjoy the environment.
Most the people that work there are pretty cool, and with my hook-ups with
workNet and all, I think I can pull this job off. If not, there are plenty
of other oppertunities. While I'm around oakridge I'm going to pick up a few
other applications to other stores. It's easier to get to oakridge mall for
me, through amtrak and all, so it'll be much easier than taking like 3
different buses to get to work elsewhere.
   My brother got Prince of Egypt for his birthday, I braught it up to my
room and watched it the other night. It reminded me of you, just cause we
watched it together in the movies. A lot has been reminded me of you lately.
Words are hard to gather right now for some reason. Well, I know you can
understand that. I'm gunna go get this printed up now. I love you.

                                        Love Forever,
                                           Scott

